Showing posts with label King Kong 76. Show all posts
Showing posts with label King Kong 76. Show all posts

Monday, August 8, 2016

Favorites :: Behind the Scenes :: Nobody Cry When the Giant Robot Monkey Die: Damage Control and the Aftermath of King Kong '76.


As much grief as Dino De Laurentiis and Carlo Rambaldi got for the colossal failure of the much ballyhooed giant mechanical gorilla for the 1976 version of King Kong, the execution of those giant animatronic gorilla hands was actually quite good. A bona fide miracle, perhaps, for, as the legend goes, due to an accelerated production schedule (-- the reasons for which would take a whole ‘nother post to explain), the hydraulics to run them were so complicated, they weren't really finished when filming began. And when they finally got them kinda sorta working, the crew wanted to show them off to their producer. And when De Laurentiis walked into the studio, the giant arm extended toward him and flipped him the bird. And while De Laurentiss broke up over this, so did the arm. It seized up and the obscene gesture remained as is for almost a week.


But as erratic as the hands were, the full-sized mock-up proved even more temperamental than Bruce the mechano-shark did in JAWS (1975). In theory and design, it was an ambitious, technical marvel. In the execution, well...


Now, the arms and robot were designed by Rambaldi but were engineered and built under the supervision of Glen Robinson. Originally, De Laurentiss tried to commission some aerospace engineers to manufacture the robot but they required nearly a year and a half to complete it. Thus, it was up to Robinson, who had it built in less than five months. Built? Yes. Working? No. Well, not quite. When finished the contraption weighed in at nearly six tons, filled with some 3,100 feet of hydraulic hoses and 4,500 feet of electrical wire ensconced inside an aluminum skeleton, covered with an additional two tons of molded rubber and imported Argentinian horsehair, styled and stitched in by famed wig maker, Michael Dino.


In theory, the prop could walk, turn at the waist and move those attached arms (built separately) into sixteen unique positions as piloted by a half-dozen technicians manning twice that many levers each -- all of them Italians, who needed all instructions translated, which caused even more delays. And when it made its debut, in front of an anxious crowd at Shea Stadium, including several execs from Paramount, and they engaged those levers, Kong’s eyes started to move, then his mouth opened in a silent roar and the crowd went nuts. But this was soon followed by several screams and a lot of fingers pointing to one of the legs. (Other reports said it was toward the crotch.) Seems several hydraulic hoses had burst and Robo-Kong was hemorrhaging out gallons upon gallons of crimson-tinted fluid. Things never really improved from there, which explains why the contraption wound up with so little screen-time in the finished film – and most of that were just static long-shots. All told, a mere 25 seconds.



The animatronic hands fared a little better. They were six-feet across and weighed nearly a ton each. Again, the giant body was built to accommodate them but with all the added doodads and gizmos to run them, the main structure could barely support the weight -- so much so the technicians quickly nixed a series of  publicity photos of Robo-Kong holding Jessica Lange because of the stress factor of that much added weight and jostling on the tenuous joints.


In fact, after weathering that accelerated production schedule, including the widely circulated rumor that no one realized they had built two right hands until they were almost finished, causing even more delays while one of these was back-engineered into a southpaw (-- this apocryphal tale is sort of confirmed in Charles Grodin’s auto-biography), there were several close calls that could’ve led to a catastrophic injury.


Once the hands were unstuck and in nominal working order they decided to do another trial run. And so stuntwoman Sunny Woods crawled into the hand and braced herself while the contraption was engaged and the fingers slowly closed around her, and then started to lift her up into the air. But it had barely gotten more than 10 feet off the ground when the hand snapped at the wrist and several lines blew, causing the hand to lose pressure and to contract even further. Luckily, the safety bolts in the finger joints worked as designed and prevented the hand from crushing the girl, but left her dangling in mid-air. Thus the movie became a trial by fire for all involved, especially for Lange and Woods, who were essentially at the mercy of two pilot-less forklifts covered in foam rubber and horsehair for retake after retake for nearly 10 months of shooting. Lange would suffer much bruising and a pinched nerve in her heck when one of the fingers missed its mark and clobbered her in the head.


In the end, this glorified paper weight cost the studio nearly $2 million. To salvage the film they had to spend another half-million on the gorilla suit worn by Rick Baker for the majority of the picture. And then another $300,000 was spent on the giant Styrofoam corpse used for the final shots of the movie.


It’s really too bad this crew didn’t have more time to tinker and perfect the over-sized gizmos they’d made. Some of what they accomplished onscreen with those cumbersome appendages was really quite admirable. And who knows what they could’ve done with that year and half instead of the five months they got. As is, the film still won an Academy Award for Rambaldi, Robinson and Frank Van der Veer (opticals) for their efforts but even this didn’t happen without controversy when several Academy F/X board members resigned in protest (-- including Jim Danforth, who reportedly hated the film).


One of the biggest sins of King Kong ‘76, aside from the lack of dinosaurs on Skull Island, is that at no moment while watching do you, for a second, despite a valiant effort by Baker, believe that you are watching a real gorilla and not someone in a monkey-suit. Baker implored them for a better design and to allow him to walk on all fours like a real gorilla but these were all nixed to match their more anthropomorphic prop, which they were still harboring delusions of using for the majority of the picture during pre-production. As yet another legend goes, when they realized the robot might not work out and started advertising for a gorilla man in the trades, Baker said he was “the only one stupid enough to do it."


Again, you cannot blame Rambaldi, Robinson, or their crews, or Baker, for the perceived failure to light up the box-office. The film actually made a tidy profit but failed to generate ticket sales the way JAWS had the year before, sending its producer on a slightly embarrassing quest to try and top it -- ranging from Orca (1977) to The White Buffalo (1977), where he failed again and again. But you gotta admire De Laurentiis’ enthusiasm and chutzpah. Sure, his mouth wrote a check his butt couldn’t cash, but even in this failure he succeeded. For in a brash display of ballsy hucksterism that would’ve made P.T. Barnum proud, the producer promised audiences that he would deliver a giant robot Kong onscreen and he did just that. Barely.


And as I wrote this piece up, inspired by that picture way up at the top, I got to wondering as to whatever happened to the giant robot once filming was completed. I do know that when things wrapped in New York City, the thousands of gathered extras pretty much destroyed the Styrofoam replica in a wild souvenir hunt. As for the robot, well, that’s where things get a little sketchy. There are tales of it appearing at several premieres around the world. And after that, it allegedly spent some time in a circus, where it was part of an elaborate stunt-show. 


There is also solid documentation that the robot went on a barnstorming tour of South America, where it would spend weeks in a traveling circus tent, where a master of ceremonies would command it to move to a stunned audience before a blackout. But as the hydraulics kept breaking down and interest waned, the sideshow angle was abandoned and the automaton was moved one last time to stand a silent vigil in the city square of Mar del Plata, Argentina, where it apparently stood for several years.



Exposed to the elements, stripped of its hydraulic and electronic guts, as the hair and latex started to rot away, rumors spread that the prop was essentially written off and hauled to some anonymous Argentinian landfill. However, this myth is dispelled by an article that appeared in the April 29, 1985, issue of the Henderson Times-News, which stated what was left of the robot was recovered and brought home to Wilmington, North Carolina, where De Laurentiis had opened a studio (De Laurentiis Entertainment Group (DEG)), perhaps all in an effort to stir-up some publicity for his proposed sequel, King Kong Lives (1986), that was currently in pre-production and due to be released one year later.




Is it still there now some thirty years later? Well, the Magic 8-Ball says the answer is once more unclear. Apparently parts of it, the head and one of the arms, were prominently on display at the studio but have since disappeared under dubious circumstances when DEG went bankrupt a mere three years later after a few high profile flops and was taken over by Carolco Pictures before they in-turn sold the lot off to Screen Gems in 1996. So, odds are the Kong robot wound up in landfill, only in a North Carolina landfill. A sad ignominious end, really, to something so notorious that could’ve been something really great.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy Holidays :: The 8th Annual All-Night Christmas Craptacular Movie Marathon vs. the 8th Wonder of the World!

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, one creature was grumping, just listen to him grouch ... And so, once more, Boils and Ghouls, Yours Truly celebrates the one night a year the paper I work for doesn't print by chasing off the specter of the Annual Seasonal Affective Disorder Blues with an all night booze-can cum movie marathon. Originally, the plan was for a full on assault of old Hanna-Barbera and Ruby-Spears cartoons but my boxsets of The Herculoids, Valley of the Dinosaurs, and Thundarr the Barbarian wound up MIA, even though they were due on Monday, lost somewhere between my house and Kentucky. (Dear Amazon and UPS, I got yer 'In Transit' tracking right HERE, ya near Christmas ruinin' sonsabitches!) 


Fearing this would happen, Plan B called on an exploration of the Billy Jack boxset to mark the passing of Tom Laughlin; and though I do enjoy The Born Losers quite a bit, I just didn't have it in me to sit through Billy Jack Goes to Washington again no matter how much liquor I stockpiled. Luckily, Plan C presented itself with the one-two-punch of a gift of a nifty King Kong lunchbox from some friends and rousing discussion on where Peter Jackson went wrong on his remake via Facebook that led me to settle on the Big Ape and his oeuvre. And so, with my trusty sammich, a pecan pie, and a bottle of Wild Turkey, our journey to Skull Island and beyond began where it began.


Ya know, every time I watch King Kong, I always pick up on something new. This time, I noticed something easily overlooked, but ... Remember the scene after Kong breaks thru the wall, munches on a few natives, and trashes the village before making his way to the beach where Denham is waiting with those gas bombs? Here, I finally noticed the sand the tranquilized Kong wallows around in while he tries to fight off the noxious vapor. Sand animated frame by frame, mind you, to match the movement of Kong as he struggles over the dunes. Incredible. 

  
Also also this time around, Bruce Cabot has officially gone from liability to 'Screw Joel McCrea.'

  
"I thought you meant Cary Grant!"


Up next, quickly slapped together, and it shows, Son of Kong is only 69 minutes long. But it takes the crew nearly 45 minutes to get back to Skull Island. (Plenty of time for some tropical island misadventure, musical interludes, and prescient anti-commie propaganda.) Fifty minutes in and Junior finally shows up, who is mostly played for laughs. The 'derp' factor in this thing is freakin' astronomical as the soundtrack bludgeons the audience about the head and neck to really hammer this *ahem* hilarity home.


Anyhoo, it's proper title probably should have been The Redemption of Carl Denham with our very special guest star, Baby Kong. Decent chemistry between the leads salvages most of it, even the odious comedy relief of Victor Wong has its moments. Beyond that, slapped and dashed to within an inch of its life, but relatively harmless.



"Why, no. I haven't seen your daddy. Is he missing?"


Before you ask, I did consider watching Mighty Joe Young but eventually ruled it out because even though he may be the same genus and species, well, his name ain't Mighty Joe Kong. And so, we move to Japan for the Battle of the Century, King Kong vs. Godzilla. Aided and abetted by some narcotic grape juice that helps us overlook our giant monkey's highly visible seams, for once, our titanic tussle actually lives up to it's billing. 


And even though OPERATION: DIG A BIG HOLE failed, we got some excellent kaiju action and a ton of property damage that firmly puts this one in the win column. Who won? Who cares! And remember, whatever you do, DO NOT GO TO HOKKAIDO!



"Dr. Arnold Johnson is right."


Sticking with the theme, we stay in Japan for another round of pure bedlam with the completely demented King Kong Escapes, where Kong and his lady fair are captured by an international terrorist for a plot that you wouldn't believe even if I typed it up and drew you a picture. Just watch it. Trust me. 


Also plugged into this insanity, we got an awesome arch-nemesis with Mechanokong, a full-loaf of Paul Frees, a dinosaur powered by Scrubbing Bubbles, mind-controlling disco globes, and a Kong suit even goofier than the one from the last movie. And as a big dollop of gravy on top of all of that, we got Linda Miller in those go-go boots and majorette uniform as Nurse Watson, who is just sooooo adorable I can't even even. 



OmigodomigodIloveyouNurseWatson!


Anyhoo, at this point, I came to the conclusion I was way too sober for this next entry, but, rules is rules, and so, it was time to mix 'em a little stronger so I could cry when the monkey die in Big Dino D's version of King Kong. Now, I tried to fold up that poster and stuff it into the DVD tray but turns out that won't work. And then, Netflix refused to stream it on the first try, crashing the software on my BluRay player. Ignoring the fact that the universe was trying to tell me something, I tried again. And, dammit, it worked this time. *sigh*


Hands down, the best F/X in the whole movie is Jeff Bridges' beard. And though I used to think Jessica Lange was terrible in this, now I believe her channeling of an empty-headed actress with nice rack but no other discernible talents is nothing short of brilliant. And despite the lack of monsters on faux Skull Island (-- except for that ludicrous snake), my biggest personal beef with this movie is Charles Grodin, an actor I've never really cared for, who plays a character that amplifies everything I don't like about him up to about an 11. *pfeh* Beyond that, we got overblown and sexually inappropriate metaphors...


I mean, really -- What's THAT all about?


Where was I? Oh yeah ...  Overblown and sexually inappropriate metaphors, skeevey simian Stockholm Syndrome, male chauvinist pig apes, and Laurentiis and Carlo Rambaldi pulling a Bud Westmore on Rick Baker. And so ends King Kong '76. What a f@cked up, tonally inconsistent mess you are.


Sorry, Dino. No tears here.


Of course there weren't any tears. Why should there be?! Turns out Kong wasn't dead after all (-- even though that fall alone should have liquified him.) Why make King Kong Lives, you ask? Because the world needed a Rom-Com Kong vs. Rednecks movie, dammit. That's why! 


First, the good news: My old VHS tape wouldn't work. Hooray! The bad news: I found a copy streaming on YouTube. Ah, poop. The really, really good news: I do believe I was now sufficiently drunk enough *hic* to handle this entry with ease. Nah. That's not really fair. For, despite the grumbling and hesitation, I do love and appreciate the mounting stoopidity of this movie something fierce. From the reviving surgery, to Kong and his lady love making the goo-goo (and beyond) at/with each other, to that aforementioned redneck interlude, to the final fight and the credulity-chucking final coda, this thing is just amazeballs.


And, oh, holy crap, does John Ashton's Lt. Nevitt belong in the Cranky Military Asshat Hall of Fame along with Alex Nicol's Col. 'Kill that Hairy Sumbitch' Davis of A*P*E infamy.



And so, having survived King Kong Lives, my reward was getting to watch the super-duper three 'n' half-hour long extended cut of Peter Jackson's well-intentioned, but let's just call it what it is, wet dream. Now where the hell did I put that bottle...


What I remember most about watching Jackson's Kong in the theater was after the excruciatingly long and exhaustively-detailed set-up, was glancing at my watch when the monkey finally showed up and noting over an hour of screen time had elapsed before we got to what we had all paid to see. It's heart was definitely in the right place, sure, but the film is still kind of a broken baroque mess. I can't remember who first said it on the message board I used to haunt, but I wished it was me, when they said the film truly was a lovingly laborious and well-intended expanded-universe fan-fic gone horribly, horribly wrong.


I don't know when Jackson contracted his case of Rube Goldbergian Bullshititus (a/k/a Spielberg Pox), but he hasn't been the same since. Still, when I decided to revisit it, the only copy I could get my hands on was the extended edition. And though the last thing I felt the film needed was a longer running time, somewhat miraculously, the whole thing just seemed to gel better and didn't feel nearly as over-cooked as I'd remembered. Alas, even with this tinkering, the near fatal flaws were still there the third time through: the V-Rex fight, the stampede, and the spider pit hootenanny still had me rolling my eyes and thinking 'Sweet Big Monkey Bajeezus, move on already.'


Look, I don't hate the movie. Far from it. The cast is outstanding (special nods to Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Andy Serkis, and Kyle Chandler) and the F/X are top-notch. The component parts of this movie are great, the whole that they make when put together, pains me to say, is not. The problem, sadly, then, is Jackson. And the moral of this story: When you love something that much, and lose yourself that badly in the minutiae, and love it so much you can't bear to leave ANYTHING OUT, you're too close and you run the risk of smothering the life out of it.


Wow. Listen to me get all serious. Heh. Forgive. At this point, I'm really, really drunk and really, really tired. And so, our Mad Monkey Marathon comes to end. But before I crawl off to bed and pass out, I bid you Happy Holidays One and All. Or Bah! Humbug, where applicable. 'Oh, Good King WencesKong looked out, on the Feast of Denham...'

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