Film Conversations :: Texting with Mike :: The (Not So) Brave and the (So Not) Bold!

Okay, new feature time. Hooray! Don't know about the rest of you but I have some pretty good conversations/arguments via text or Facebook or Twitter with my fellow movie addled-brethren. And, with their permission, I shall be re-posting the very same dust-ups right here. First up: a text conversation between my friend Mike and I a few months back where we were trying to hook up for a screening of The Dark Knight Rises. And while the movie matinee didn't work out, the conversation continued unabated. Read on...
 
[6:33] Mike: Batmanning tomorrow at 11. You around?

[6:34] Me: AM or PM

[7:19] Mike: AM. Sorry. I have to work tomorrow PM.

[8:50] Mike: Nananananananananananananana Batman?

[9:00] Me: Dear, Bruce. Have previous lunch engagment with Ma Kent or I would. XOXO, Clark.

[9:02] Mike: Dear Clark, No problem. Why did U lose the red undies? #Bruce.

[10:23] Mike: FUNNIER RESPONSE: "Enjoy you lunch. I DON'T HAVE PARENTS!!!"

[10:25] Me: Ya know, people often forget that I'm an orphan too. That, and my entire @#%*ing planet blew up. But hey, I can fly. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[10:27] Mike: I have a utility belt, and money, and I'm a ninja. Kind of ... I'M BATMAN!!!

[10:28] Me: FUNNIER RESPONSE: Shot by a mugger? Feh. My entire planet blew up and my parents were atomized.

[10:29] Mike: Your parents were pompous assholes. And we saw your little super wiener. I'M BATMAN!!!

[10:30] Me: I could disintegrate you from orbit, ya know. The MOON's orbit. And you'll never see it coming. Got a utility for that Mr. I'm the Godammned Batman?!

[10:32] Mike: Nope. Just the Kryptonite you gave me because even you know you're a total douche-snoozle. And a thing that summons bats. And a man servant.

[10:33] Me: Oh, Bruce, that wasn't real Kryptonite. You were pouting again, remember? So I tried to cheer you up with a piece of rock candy. Also, Alfred doesn't really like you. He told me. Actually, I was listening in. Super-Hearing and all that...

[10:34] Me: ... Tell ya what. I'll disintegrate you from orbit with my heat vision. Then I'll fly around the planet real fast, reverse time, and zap you again?!

[10:35] Mike: EVEN YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT HOW TIME TRAVEL WORKS!!!

[10:36] Me: Does for me, Batsy. AND STOP STANDING ON MY CAPE!

[10:41] Mike: Ah, well ... at least we ain't Hal Jordan.

[10:42] Me: True dat. More like the Green McTurdburger.

[10:45] Mike: The Green Lan-Turd.

[10:46] Me: "In brightness lame, in blackest asshattery..."

[10:48] Mike: I don't have anything on my utility belt to finish that rhyme.

[10:48] Me: "... I am a Tool of the highest variety."

[10:49] Mike: [...slowBATclap]

[10:50] Me: And that's why I gots this Big S on my chest.