24-Hours of B-Movie Nirvana!!!

Alas, B-Fest 2009 has come and gone, and though a full write-up on the whole weekend of sheer-n-epic insanity will be coming shortly, I'd like to stop and take a quick opportunity to thank the fine folks of A&O films for a great line-up of gonzoidal flicks and the collective heads of knuckle over at the BMMB for all the booze, quips and long fits of laughs. See ya'll at B-Fest 2010.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we've all got a date in London.

(Photo courtesy of Mike "We Gave You One Job" Bockoven.)

Favorites :: Movie Characters :: Oddball and Moriarity ... Kelly's Heroes (1970)

Oddball & Moriarty

(Donald Sutherland & Gavin MacLeod

Cut out those negative waves and have a little faith, baby:

Oddball needs a bridge:

The Restaurant of My Wildest Dreams.

On the DVD commentary for The Horror of Party Beach -- a wild tale of bratwurst-bogarting, knock-kneed, and google-eyed monsters running amok and slaughtering helpless beach bunnies to the stomping tunes of the Del-Aires, I recall director Del Tenney mentioning something about selling the rights of that film over to Disney for some kind of Drive-In Theater / Americana attraction in one of their many theme parks. So, about a year ago, when my mom first announced that she was packing up the whole clan -- 17 folks in total -- for a return trip to DisneyWorld, tops on my priority list was tracking this attraction down -- if it truly existed.



Well, I'm happy to report that it does exist, and in fact, is a gonzoidal B-Movie themed restaurant / dining experience. Nestled in between Star Tours (the Star Wars flight simulator) and the Muppet Vision 3-D experience at Disney/MGM's Hollywood Studios, sets the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater Restaurant.



And a fairly popular attraction and eatery it turned out to be, too, as it took three attempts in as many days to finally land a coveted reservation. Once inside, past the posters in the lobby and thru the gate, you enter a large amphitheater, but instead of the customary seats, you'll find '50s-era autos, all tail-fins, chrome and vinyl, facing a large drive-in theater screen. To the back is the kitchen/snack bar, and up above, LED lights twinkle down on a clear night. Over the speakers, warnings blare of some unseen menace as you settle into your seats and place your order.



Then, as you wait for your burger and milkshake, up on the screen runs a constant stream of old B-Movie clips and a barrage of monster-movie trailers, wacky educational shorts and newsreels, old-school snack-bar adverts and vintage cartoons -- and the captive audience eats it all up.



Then, in a total state of an Euphoric Nerdgasm, your food arrives. And that strange, juicy taste you encounter when biting into your Angus Chuck Burger is another nostalgic treat called grease -- something sorely lacking in today's health-conscious world. And as I sat there, soaking it all in, watching my sister's kids gawk and laugh at the trailer for The Amazing Colossal Man, I realized this place was like someone had crawled inside my head and tapped my brain for what I would envision to be the ultimate dining experience, and then -- somehow -- made it a reality. In the end, I'd highly recommend the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater for the atmosphere alone, but the food and shakes weren't half bad either. So if you're ever in Orlando, be sure to check it out.

Thumbs up!

Disney's Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater :: Medium: Attractions / Eats :: Location: Disney World / MGM Hollywood Studios Theme Park, Orlando, FL :: The Company Line :: What's on the Menu.

Cash Flagg Cashes In.

When I was in Las Vegas about six years ago, on a whim, I decided to thumb through the phonebook to see if one of my movie-making idols was listed. I never thought in a million years that he would be, but there it was: a listing for R. Steckler. Alas, I was too chicken-shit to call, and I'm still kicking myself for not vandalizing the phone-book and tearing out the page -- or the Yellow Page listing for Mascot Video over on Tropicana Avenue, but then regrets always are a bitch.


Lampooned by my most but rabidly loved by others, myself included, I wouldn't say Steckler was as bona fide genius, but there was something especially surreal about the look and feel of his movies that a lot of other one-lung filmmakers couldn't come close to matching. And in the end, the man left his mark and a wonderfully weird oeuvre for us to enjoy for all perpetuity. And for that, I'd like to say thanks.

Ray Dennis Steckler
(1938-2009)

Moments of Pure Cinema Fusion :: The Attack on Ajax's Ship : Flash Gordon (1980)

By definition, nuclear fusion is the process by which multiple like-charged atomic particles join together to form a heavier nucleus -- usually accompanied by the release of a massive amount of energy, depending on the elements involved. Applying that theory to film, there are certain moments in certain movies when the direction, cinematography, acting, editing, and soundtrack collide and merge into something I like to call Moments of Pure Cinema Fusion.


As an example, here's one of my favorites occurrences of this phenomenon. The action really starts to percolate around the 1:08 mark, and then reaches critical mass at about 2:20:

"DIIIIIIIIIVVVVEEE!"

Credit where credit is due:

Director: Mike Hodges / Screenplay: Lorenzo Semple Jr. / Cinematography: Gil Taylor / Editing: Malcolm Cooke / Original Music: Brian May, Queen / Cast: Sam Jones, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Max Von Sydow, Timothy Dalton

A Long Night at Camp Blood :: The Musical Version!

___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

"He forgot to mention that downtown
they call this place 'Camp Blood.'"
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Ten little...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Nine little...


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx... Eight little Campers.

Seven little...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Six little...


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx... Five little campers.


Four little...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Three little...


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx... Two little campers.


Leaving one little camper left.

All apologies to Septimus Winner, Agatha Christie, Michael Finnegan, Sean S. Cunningham and everyone else in the known universe for the complete lameness of this post. Just had a little too much fun revisiting this film after posting the ads for it over at Scenes from the Morgue. *tee hee* Kill her, mommy. Kill her...


Friday the 13th (1980) Sean S. Cunningham Films :: Georgetown Productions Inc. :: Paramount Pictures / EP: Alvin Geiler / P: Sean S. Cunningham / AP: Steve Miner / D: Sean S. Cunningham / W: Victor Miller / C: Barry Abrams / E: Bill Freda / M: Harry Manfredini / S: Adrienne King, Robbi Morgan, Kevin Bacon, Jeannine Taylor, Harry Crosby, Laurie Bartram, Peter Brouwer, Betsy Palmer