Thursday, April 22, 2010

The One I Might Have Saved :: Tina Takes One for the Team.

A few years ago the esteemed proprietor of Arbogast on Film kicked off a self-described floating blogathon called "The One You Might Have Saved." 

Back then, they put out a call for other writers "to come forward with those doomed characters from horror movies whose plight or personality so moved the writer that he or she wished they had the power to breach the fourth wall of cinema and save that person from his or her tragic fate."  

For quite some time I had kicked around the notion of who I would choose to rewrite history for, but just never got around to putting keystrokes to the blogosphere. However, when the man recently put out a call once more for those We Might Have Saved, I took it as a sign to finally get off my butt and finally get this thing done.

So who did I choose? Well, I chose Marylin Clarke's doomed bad girl Tina
Del Tenney's totally bitchin' The Horror of Party Beach (1964).


Why her? Easy. She's sassy:


... And brassy:


... Brazen:


... And bold:


A girl who wasn't afraid to take a walk on the wild side:


... And do her own thing.


A righteous riot of one, who wasn't ready to rein it in and take the domestication ride on the Yellow Bus to Squaresville, man, but opted, instead, for a fast, free-wheeling trip down the Road to Ruination.


Of course, this wild and recalcitrant streak put a target squarely on her back. The rules for such things weren't cast in bedrock yet back in 1964, but they were definitely an itch in somebody's pants, which is why this Round Hole in a world of Square Pegs had to go,
reduced to serving as a painful lesson to those who would follow in her wake; and make way for the heroine proper -- who, in vetted contrast, was duller than dishwater and might as well have been a store mannequin on the arm of our Square-Jaw.


Feh.


Thus, when all this behavior finally burns the last straw with her [now] former beau, she casts him off like her cute top and Capris. 

... And then celebrates her new found independence with a swim and little 'me time' on a solitary outcropping.



... Where her fate is quickly sealed in a scene that is both 50% hilariously ludicrous because of what attacks her.

 

 

... But also 50% morbidly perverse as the google-eyed and knock-kneed horror slashes / caresses the poor girl to death.

 


Thus and so, in the end, with our bad girl "properly" punished, and the homogenizing, white-bread vestiges of the Eisenhower era safely defended for just a little while longer, most folks are left with this indelible image as a reminder of those too irredeemable, who veer too far off course. This could happen to you.



... As for me? Nah.



To me, she'll always be the one that got away.

The Horror of Party Beach (1964) Iselin-Tenney Productions :: 20th Century Fox / P: Alan V. Iselin, Del Tenney / D: Del Tenney / W: Richard Hilliard / C: Richard Hilliard / E: Gary Youngman / M: Wilford L. Holcombe / S: John Scott, Alice Lyon, Marilyn Clarke, Allan Laurel

3 comments:

Jessica R. said...

Excellent choice, and now you've got me itching to watch The Horror of Party Beach again damn you.

W.B. Kelso said...

Are you kidding? It's always a good time to watch The Horror of Party Beach. (And I highly recommend the triple feature disc with that, Violent Midnight and Curse of the Living Corpse.)

The Flying Maciste Brothers said...

You make the Macistes sad:(
Bye Tina...

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