Let's get our Freaky on, shall we?
In The Thing with Two Heads, we have the most fantastic medical experiment ever dared! And taking into account that one half of this diabolical transplant operation is an ebony man-mountain, built like a brick shit-house, things are bound to get very interesting when he awakens with the head of a crotchety old bigot welded to his neck. Well, you'd think they would -- he typed ominously...
Next, when a quadriplegic Vietnam vet named Eddie is volunteered for some more diabolical experimentation by his fiance, the result is Blackenstein! The Black Frankenstein -- or, more appropriately, The Black Frankenstein Monster, but now I'm just nitpicking, and, believe you me, this film just ain't worth it. Frankly, I don't even want to fathom why Dr. Stein dressed up his patient in high-water pants, sport coat, and patent leather shoes but, nonetheless, his experiment has gone awry, leaving Franken-Eddie to shamble off into the night, like a drunk trying to act sober, grunting like an obscene phone caller, looking for some more entrails to disgorge and play with...
As for our third feature, we open in Transylvania, circa 1780, where an African ambassador and his bride fall victim to Count Dracula; and cursed with vampire's name, from now on, Prince Mumawalde will be known as Blacula. But, not done tormenting him yet, and being the evil bastard that he is, the Count then places him in a sturdy coffin and locks it shut, meaning his latest victim, unable to satiate his need for blood, will spend an eternity in agony -- unless, say, someone lets him back out in Los Angeles, circa 1972...
Ask your average B-Movie or Blaxpo fan about Rudy Ray Moore and they'll automatically think of his Dolemite movies. Not me, though. Nope. To me, Rudy Ray will always be Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son in Law. Here, after he's gunned down by rivals, our rhyme-busting and kung-fu champion is escorted to hell by Lucifer himself, who pours him a drink and tries to strike a bargain. Seems if Petey will marry his daughter and give him a son, the Cloven One will grant him the power to gain revenge on those who murdered him. But, being Satan, there's a catch: seems his daughter fell out of the ugly tree -- and hit every branch on the way down...
No comments:
Post a Comment