Friday, December 18, 2009

Teenage Caveman and The Beach Dickerson Drinking Game!

When watching Roger Corman's prehistoric / post-apocalyptic tale of teen angst railing against the scourge of archaic dogma all wrapped up in a bearskin loincloth and stock-footage lizards, if you look close enough you'll spot the same extra popping up over and over again only to be killed off over and over again. And it was this paradoxical anomaly that inspired Yours Truly to invent The Beach Dickerson Drinking Game. All you need is a stash of your favorite brew, a copy of Teenage Caveman, and a sharp eye and a healthy thirst. Beyond that, the rules are simple. Every time you spot our boy Beach, take a drink. And on the occasions when he dies, drink twice. And on the occasions where he manages to kill himself, finish off whatever's left in your glass / can.

For those of you without a copy of the movie, fear not! For I have provided the home version of The Beach Dickerson Drinking Game for you viewing and drinking pleasure. Now, arm up and lets get snockered together, shall we.

And here, at 3:25 mark, we have our first official sighting. Drink.

Be sure to keep your eyes peeled during the crowd scenes. Drink.

Guess who got to wear the bear suit? Drink.
And guess who doesn't survive the hunt? Drink twice.

Here he is again, hungry for some bear. Drink.

And again. Drink.

And when they cross the forbidden river,
our boy is the last one in. Drink.

And when the shit hits the fan across the
forbidden river,
our boy is the last one out. Drink.

Alas, one misstep leads our boy to his doom. Drink twice.
What? That's it already? I'm not even buzzed yet.

Oh, wait. There he is again. Drink.

And again. Drink.

...And again. Drink.

Who's that man from the Burning Plain? Drink.

And who's that guy in the crowd watching the
man from the Burning Plain? Drink.

And guess whose lethal spear that is?
Yeah. Finish your drink.

Whoops. Check that. He's not quite dead. Drink.

Never mind. Drink twice.

Turns out he's still alive ... Drink ...

... And well ... Drink ...

... And patiently waiting to see what his
director does to him next. Drink.

And as we barrel toward the climax ... Drink ...

... Don't let that wig fool ya ... Drink.

And it only seems appropriate that when the dust settles and The Beast that Gives Death with its Touch is vanquished, our boy Beach is still standing when the movie and our sozzled drinking game comes to an end, even though we're probably not. *hic*


Anonymous said...

I do not recommend playing "The Tingler" drinking game. Drink every time you hear "Tingler" or some variation. We got shnockered. - Brother Neil

W.B. Kelso said...

Just wait until Easter, when I reveal the tenets of "The Ten Commandments" Drinking Game. So let it be written, so let it be drunk.

Unknown said...

Haha this is awesome. Beach is my cousin.

W.B. Kelso said...

Thanks! The tales he told of Corman's shoots were amazing stuff.

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