Well. Haven't done one of these SLIFR quizzes for awhile. Thus and so, and here we go!
1) Most obnoxious movie you’ve ever seen?
Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? (1969). Worst 3am mind-f@ck at B-Fest of ever.
2) Favorite oddball pairing of actors?
Great googily-moogily. Have you seen the cast list for The Phynx (1970)? Even more mind-boggling than Skidoo (1968).
3) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Ken Russell?
An adult version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971).
4) Emma Stone or Margot Robbie?
Emma Stone.
5) Which member of Monty Python are you?
My heart says Michael Palin, but my head says Terry Jones.
6) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Vincent Minnelli?
Sextette (1978).
7) Franco Nero or Gian Maria Volonte?
Franco Nero. And not only for Django (1966), but for those totally bonkers Gamma-1 films.
8) Your favorite Japanese monster movie?
Destroy. All. Monsters (1968).
9) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Stanley Kubrick?
Blade Runner (1982). Or anything by Philip K. Dick, really.
10) Hanna Schygulla or Barbara Sukowa?
Well, had to Google both of them and nothing rang a bell so I will disqualify myself on this one.
11) Name a critically admired movie that you hate?
I think we’ve covered this before.
12) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Elia Kazan?
A remake of A Face in the Crowd (1957) -- only updated for these modern times, so when Lonesome gets busted, he spins it, finds Jesus, no one cares, and he keeps on keeping on grabbing ‘em by the pussy.
13) Better or worse: Disney comedies (1955-1975) or Elvis musicals?
This question is moot because it works on the assumption that both are bad. Both are overly maligned AND I AIN’T HAVING IT!!! Dean Jones was like a second father to me, man. The Big E and Dexter Reilly 4VR!!!
14) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Alfred Hitchcock?
Would love to see what he could do with a bona fide body count movie like And Then There Were None (1945) or Blood and Black Lace (1964).
15) Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum?
Again, this is very close but I’m going with Gosling because he was in this, and he was great:
16) Bad performance in a movie you otherwise like/love?
George Lazenby in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969). Look. Do you all remember the scene in Singing in the Rain (1952), when Don, Kathy and Cosmo salvage The Dueling Cavalier by turning it into an outlandish musical extravaganza, whose main objective was to hide Lina Lamont's shortcomings as an actress? Well, I got the same impression of all involved working extra hard to overcompensate for Lazenby's lack of range in OHMSS. Again, to be fair, Lazenby isn't that terrible but he is very inconsistent, depending on what he was called on to do. For as good as he was in the dust-ups and stunts, his attempts at humor -- especially the punctuating punning is pretty atrocious, and he has all the charming romantic swagger of a drunken fratboy. He also eats and botches several lines that make it into the film, making one wonder if director Peter Hunt knew wasting film on any additional takes would solve nothing.
And truth told, everything else around him, the co-stars (-- big nods to Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas), the action set-pieces, the editing (-- except for the inexplicable skip-framing in a couple of fights), the sets themselves, the production design, George Baker's dubbing assist, the costuming, even the soundtrack (major kudos to John Barry, whose running theme is probably the best in the series), are all making Lazenby look better than he really is. C'mon. Admit it. And there was no way in hell the production team could keep that kind of effort up as the series progressed and would've only exposed his shortcomings even more. As is, Lazenby was good enough to make On Her Majesty's Secret Service one of my favorite Bond movies. But try as I might, I cannot see him making Diamonds Are Forever (1971) work, let alone Live and Let Die (1973).
17) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Howard Hawks?
Night of the Living Dead (1968).
18) Tippi Hedren or Kim Novak?
This is hard, but I’m gonna give it to Hedren for the damage sustained while making Roar (1981).
19) Best crime movie remake?
A Fistful of Dollars (1964).
20) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Preston Sturges?
This may seem a little blasphemous but I think he should take another shot at The Palm Beach Story (1942). Close, but it’s not quite there.
21) West Side Story (the movie), yes or no?
This is one of those movies I will agree that it is very good, that it has merit, but just ain’t for me.
22) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Luchino Visconti?
I fear I will have to disqualify myself again, again.
23) What was the last movie you saw, theatrically and/or on DVD/Blu-ray/streaming?
Theatrically: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017). Streaming: Seoul Station (2016). DVD: The Killing (1956). Bluray: Kino Lorber’s much welcomed theatrical cut of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966).
24) Brewster McCloud or O.C. and Stiggs?
Brewster McCloud. Neither is Altman at his best.
25) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Luis Bunuel?
Watership Down (1978).
26) Best nature-in-revolt movie?
Best: Phase IV (1974). Favorite? Any movie where Leslie Nielsen goes all alpha male and wrassles a bear or there's an all-out Giant Bunny Attack!!!
27) Best Rene Auberjoinois performance (film or TV)?
There was an adaptation of Poe stories for PBS made decades ago, where he played Fortunato in The Cask of Amontillado segment (-- I think John Heard played Montressor). Haunting stuff considering the character’s fate.
28) Which movie would you have paid to see remade by Ingmar Bergman?
Ingmar Bergman should remake Ingmar Burgman’s Whispers of the Wolf (1982).
29) Best movie with a bird or referencing a bird in its title?
Best? Duck Soup (1933). Favorite? Father Goose (1964).
30) Burt Lancaster or Michael Keaton?
This is harder than it should be because I just watched The Founder (2016) and am still buzzing over Keaton’s performance in Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), but, c’mon, for what he did in front of and behind the camera, this one goes to Lancaster.
31) In what way have the recent avalanche of allegations unearthed in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein scandal changed the way you look at movies and the artists who make them?
When this story broke I was kind of in the middle of a slasher kick, and so, I rewatched The Burning (1981), a horror film on which the entire Weinstein empire was built, which was also co-written by the Weinstein brothers and it threw a whole, new skeevy slant on the film as they treat their female characters like disposable meat with accessible slots, who are constantly harassed and abused by their asshole boyfriends, and the nominal ‘final girl’ is a guy, and a total creep, who is also a peeping-tom, panty-sniffing pervert who shows signs of becoming a serial sexual predator in his own right. *shudder*
32) In 2017 which is “better,” TV or the movies?
Both are being strangled by being too franchise driven at the moment. Both face upcoming challenges as the theatrical experience sure ain’t what it used to be and the coming fight over net neutrality and the fracturing of streaming delivery services means the salad days are coming to a close for show access. I loath the fact that most theaters are being made over to be more like your living room, which is asinine because why leave home in the first place? Can we please put the “theatrical experience” back in the theatrical experience?
And that'll do it for this round. Until next time, Boils and Ghouls, stay cool!
Once more the bell has been rung, and so, now that I have regained consciousness, I have charged into the breach with my shield of oak, a banana peel, and the answers to Professor Larry Gopnik's Post-Hanuka, Pre-Christmas, Post-Schrodinger, Pre-Apocolypse SLFIR Holiday Movie Quiz courtesy of our Quiz-Master at the always entertaining and brain-stumping Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule.
1) Favorite unsung holiday film?
I just love how the haunting and taunting chorus of "Jingle Bells" triggers Dana Andrews' psychotic episodes in this thing.
2) Name a movie you were surprised to have liked/loved?
I expected to like it because it would be terribly stupid based on the premise alone, but turns out I liked it, a lot, due to its inspired premise which over-achieved to something really good despite its irreverent stupidity. No. Really!
3) Ned Sparks or Edward Everett Horton?
Answer: Roaring Chicken, son of Sitting Duck.
4) Sam Peckinpah's Convoy-- yes or no?
That's a Big 10-4, Good Buddy. The only disappointment is it failed to inspire Black Bear Road: The Movie.
5) What contemporary actor would best fit into a popular, established genre of the past?
Chris Cooper as a been there, done that, hard boiled dick in a Columbia low rent noir. Lots of mileage in those eyes and face.
6) Favorite non-disaster movie in which bad weather is a memorable element of the film’s atmosphere?
I was gonna go with the biblical storm in Caddyshack (1980), but, no, let's go with the hurricane in Key Largo (1948). Both of them. I love how McCloud and Temple freak Ricco and his gang right the hell out with tales of the Labor Day Hurricane of 1935, wiping out the train full of veterans, which only escalates when the present storm hits as the tension escalates inside while all hell breaks loose outside.
7) Second favorite Luchino Visconti movie?
Magic 8-Ball says, Not Applicable. Alas!
8) What was the last movie you saw theatrically? On DVD/Blu-ray?
Theater: Thor: The Dark World (2013). I could nitpick but I don't wanna. Had too much fun.
DVD: The Killer that Stalked New York (1950). The Naked City meets Outbreak via a diamond smuggler who brings an unexpected bonus back home with her: a case of smallpox.
Blu-ray: John Carter (2012). Wow. The cavalry and Josey Wales subplot still needs to go, but, Why was everybody hating on this so much again?
VHS: The Angry Red Planet (1959). Everybody loves the rat-bat-spider but I was always partial to the Jell-O mold blob with the spinning eyeball.
Streaming: When the Wind Blows (1986). I swore I'd never watch it again, but a discussion on Facebook had me revisiting this wrenching animated study on human tragedy, where we watch an old and feisty British couple survive a nuclear attack but slowly succumb to the fallout, made doubly-devastating by their never-say-die attitude and a misguided faith in the powers that be, believing they will soon have everything back in working order; and so, I watched it again and got a mudhole stomped into my soul -- AGAIN.
9) Explain your reaction when someone eloquently or not-so-eloquently attacks one of your favorite movies? (Question courtesy of Patrick Robbins)
I try to ignore it but, honestly, it depends on the viciousness of the attack, and, once that's sussed out (do they really not like it or are they just being a jerk and yankin' yer chain), I will either engage them to try and change their mind, call them a big dumb stupid-head, or drop trou' and drizzle on something they enjoy because, yeah, I am that petty sometimes.
10) Joan Blondell or Glenda Farrell?
Stop it. Just stop it. Fine. *sigh* I love Blondell, but I am in love with Glenda Farrell. All the tics and quirks, the motor-mouth, and, again, a lot of mileage on that face that I find very endearing. Torchy Blane is one of those perfect fusions of actor and character.
11) Movie star of any era you’d most like to take camping?
He would have the best chance of bringing me back alive -- if he doesn't kill me over my fan-boyish attitude about The Rockford Files, that is.
12) Second favorite George Cukor movie?
The Blue Bird (1976) for all the wrong reasons. Such a gloriously misguided, mind-f@ck of a movie.
13) Your top 10 of 2013? (feel free to elaborate!)
I fear I'm not much of a new movie guy as I've only seen about ten new movies period. Here they are in the order of enjoyment.
10. Man of Steel / Star Trek into Darkness. I didn't hate them as much as most folks did -- stress on the as much.
9: Evil Dead: I have no doubt the filmmakers hearts were in the right place, but it just wasn't very good. Sorely lacking the humor infusion of the original.
8. The World's End: Brilliant first two acts marred by a rote climax. Expected more from this trio.
7. Grabbers: Even I found the plot contrivance almost too silly, but glad I stuck it out.
6. The Conjuring:
I know its bullshit, you know it's bullshit, and it took a bad left
turn for the climax, but this is still a very well executed fright
flick.
5. Iron Man 3: Like Thor, I could nitpick, but I don't wanna. Had too much fun.
4. Thor: the Dark World: Cosmic whiz-bangery of the highest order.
3. Europa Report: A more scientifically grounded remake of The Angry Red Planet. Van Vogt by way of Bill Nye, proving that hard science and fantastic fiction can mix without curdling.
2. Gravity: The plot is basically Armageddon without the Gatling guns, and it got a little obnoxious with the visual metaphors, but it's not very often when you actually get to experience that kind of total immersion at the cineplex.
1: Pacific Rim: Haters gonna hate, nitpickers gonna pick, morons are gonna call del Toro a Hollywood sell out, but I love this movie with every fiber of my being. Also, whenever a Jaeger punches a Kaiju in the face, an angel gets its wings.
14) Name a movie you loved (or hated) upon first viewing, to which you eventually returned and had more or less the opposite reaction.
I did not like The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) when first encountered. Turns out, I am a complete idiot.
On the other hand, even though I enjoyed them as a teenager, looking back I'm almost convinced that John Hughes was actually the anti-Christ, cinematically speaking, and Ferris Bueller was his false prophet.
15) Movie most in need of a deluxe Blu-ray makeover?
What immediately springs to mind is William Wyler's The Big Country (1858), mostly because I just watched it recently via MGM's Western Legends DVD and it was a complete crime of dull colors, lackluster sound, mars, scratches and flaring water marks. And this massive and nearly exhausting tale of feuding frontier families and all the blood and thunder and flying lead that goes with it, set in front of that awe-inspiring and wide-open backdrop, backed by Jerome Moross' score to end all scores (a score that would make you eat your own head if it was covered in it), deserves the full restoration treatment.
16) Alain Delon or Marcello Mastroianni?
Close to a push, but I'll go with Alain Delon for Le Cercle Rouge (1970).
17) Your favorite opening sequence, credits or no credits (provide link to clip if possible)?
Artists Paul Julian and Bill Martin contributed a ton of trippy backdrop paintings and minimalist animation for the credit sequences on a lot of Roger Corman's low-budget epics of the 1950s through the 1960s. Some of my favorites are from his juvenile delinquent pictures like Swamp Women (1955), Teenage Doll (1957) and Sorority Girl (1957), or the eye-popping ones for The Terror (1963), but I think my absolute favorite is the insanely awesome undersea montages of derelict freighters and abstract critters for Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957).
18) Director with the strongest run of great movies?
Mario Bava. 37 films (and that's just directing) and the only stinker was Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs.
19) Is elitism a good/bad/necessary/inevitable aspect of being a cineaste?
Good in that it gives me something concrete to strive against partaking in it in any way, shape or form.
20) Second favorite Tony Scott film?
Even though it was John Buscema who drew the best Silver Surfer, I'll go with Crimson Tide (1995).
21) Favorite movie made before you were born that you only discovered this year. Where and how did you discover it?
Yabu No Naka Kuroneko (1968). Mesmerizing, visually stunning, and spooky as hell tale of supernatural vengeance that I found by sheer luck playing Criterion roulette on Hulu Plus.
22) Actor/actress you would most want to see in a Santa suit, traditional or skimpy?
Boris Karloff as the Frankenstein Monster Claus. Traditional. Armed with a Thompson sub-machine gun. Lorre, Lugosi and Chaney Jr. as the elves, with J. Carrol Naish in drag as Mrs. Claus doing a rousing chorus of 'Santa Baby.'
23) Video store or streaming?
Sadly, this is becoming a moot point in my 'burgh. There is only one brick 'n' mortar rental option left aside from those annoying Red Boxes, and both collected selections skew way too 'new release' for my tastes. If there was a decent meat-space option, I'd rather go to the store to browse. As is, well, I miss the old glory days of the late and lamented Video Kingdom but even back then, selection was very limited after the great VHS purge and streaming has opened up a whole new and viable venue for us lost in the frozen hinterlands of film enthusiasm.
24) Best/favorite final film by a noted director or screenwriter?
The best? Maybe. Favorite? Maybe. Most appropriate? Definitely.
25) Monica Vitti or Anna Karina?
Pfeh. You can have them both. I'm writing in Joan Blondell. So there. *thhhbbbttthhhhhhhh*
26) Name a worthy movie indulgence you’ve had to most strenuously talk friends into experiencing with you. What was the result?
Even though my enthusiasm and recommendations have been known to get people killed ( -- it's true, there are documented cases--) I usually have really good luck playing the Pied Piper with my knot of film friends but I have so far been unsuccessful to get anyone to watch The Spirit of the Beehive (1973) with me. And until that happens, Q#26 will remain pending.
27) The movie made by your favorite filmmaker (writer, director, et al) that you either have yet to see or are least familiar with among all the rest?
Finally saw Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) but I still need to see all of Bringing Up Baby (1938). TO THE AMAZON!
28) Favorite horror movie that is either Christmas-oriented or has some element relating to the winter holiday season in it?
29) Name a prop or other piece of movie memorabilia you’d most like to find with your name on it under the Christmas tree?
The severed hand prop from The Thing from Another World, a life-sized Triffid for my rock garden, or the animation model of the Allosaurus Rex from The Valley of Gwangi.
30) Best holiday gift the movies could give to you to carry into 2014?
Bring back the fun, the Ballyhoo and the Bullshit so things like this can happen again.
And there ya go. Until next time, Boils and Ghouls. Quiz out!
