Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Rehashed Reviews Volume IX :: ATOMIC Wedgies, and Other Nightmare Shorts!

Meanwhile, our reclamation project continues with another batch of rehashed reviews. Now, you maybe wondering what that odious smell is. Well, all I can say is check out these soiled short-film showcases for any tell-tale racing stripes or skidmarks ... We've got hygiene horrors, both mental and physical, a Driver's Ed atrocity film, a How-to guide on how to get high, then everyone gets naked, followed by a couple of curdled Cold-War leftovers in dire need of some re-heating.

Don't Be Afraid :: When young Billy doesn't want to go to sleep, is it because he's simply not tired, or is there another, more sinister reason for not wanting to go to bed?

Keeping Clean & Neat :: Since personal hygiene is the beginning and the end of all things social, two young children are driven to obsessive compulsiveness to appease a fastidiously facist narrator.

Signal 30 :: Feh. You can keep your August Undergrounds and Faces of Death! I survived Driver's Ed.

Red Nightmare :: See how those lying, dirty, shrewd, godless, murderous, determined, and internationally conspiring Communists really live -- before it's too late!

Narcotics: Pit of Despair :: Anybody else find it disturbing that these old anti-drug shorts, while trying to warn us off, basically do everything but light a match for us as a How-To guide on How-To get high?

Brad Grinter: Nudist :: Old school titillating porn is a world of visible boom mikes, lost delivery boys, skanky soundtracks, and lots-n-lots of earth tones. They were populated by tan-lines, fish-white beer guts, and drooping *ahem* equipment. And I miss them dearly as one of the few who actually likes a little plot in their porn -- and the wonkier the plot the better, like, say, trying to save your marriage by taking your nudie-phobic wife to a nudist colony.

A Day of Thanksgiving :: It's that time of year, folks, when families get together, gorge on some chemical enhanced turkey, thirteen different kinds of pie, and then settle in for some football until, inevitably, something triggers that same family argument you had last year. But before things turn too ugly, grandma makes a temporary peace by gonging everyone on the head with a gravy ladle. And after the dust settles, you realize you have approximately one month to cool off and start speaking to each other -- because you get to do it all over again at Christmas. Turns out things weren't all that different back in the 1950's...

And we'll wrap this update up by announcing that as a run-up to B-Fest 2010, A&O Film's Annual 24-Hour B-Movie Marathon, we're gonna dole out the recaps and recounting of B-Fests past, starting with the recap for 2002 and the debriefing on 2003. And with that, I bid you all a very Happy Turkey Day. I'm outta here and in to some pecan pie, but updates will resume in December. Adios, my noble amigos.

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