Favorites :: Soundtracks :: The World's Greatest Score that Almost Wasn't: Elmer Bernstein's The Magnificent Seven (1960)

I am by no means sour on Antoine Fuqua’s The Magnificent Seven (2016) remake, and those that are have no real leg to stand on – unless they’re bitching about another pointless remake of Seven Samurai (1954).

However, I did feel there was something sorely missing from the trailer. Not something your eyes missed, but your ears. What I’m saying is, gets some Elmer Bernstein or GTFO. 

Video courtesy of HD Film Tributes.

Can we all agree that Bernstein’s score is the one definitive thing where Sturges' film ran circles around Kurosawa? Even if you just can’t do that, you cannot deny how awesome and transcendent that music is. And the scary part, it almost wasn’t and was almost something completely different.

Apparently, Dimitri Tiomkin was set to score the film but was fired when he and Sturges disagreed vehemently over the music for the opening credits. Seems Tiomkin wanted another ballad like he did with Frankie Lane for Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957), perhaps like the one used for the trailer. (Or perhaps that was Tiomkin’s initial piece that was later rejected?) Go ahead, give that a listen, and now imagine that over the opening credits instead of that driving, horn heavy, buzz-sawing strings laden, and bombastic piece of awesome instead. Thus, Tiomkin, whose music I otherwise love, was dismissed and replaced with Bernstein. And Tiomkin’s loss was definitely our gain.

I’ve been listening to The Magnificent Seven soundtrack on Spotify a lot lately, all of it, and am constantly mesmerized by how well it all stitches together, with the main theme echoing through all of it. This score doesn’t just fly, it soars. Sure, that main theme was used and abused most horribly in the subsequent sequels, so much so that it almost became something akin to circus music – a clown car ditty that made your eyes roll. But it’s been almost fifty years since The Magnificent Seven Ride (1972) and nearly twenty since last used in the TV series spin-off, and I think it’s high time to take it out, polish it off, and give it another cinematic spin.

And one last note before I go: if you enjoyed that music video, be sure to check out HD Film Tributes YouTube channel because he’s got a whole lot more soundtrack vids edited together and they’re all just as great as that one.

The Magnificent Seven (1960) Mirisch Company :: Alpha Productions :: United Artists / EP: Walter Mirisch / P: John Sturges / AP: Lou Morheim / D: John Sturges / W: William Roberts / C: Charles Lang Jr. / E: Charles Lang Jr. / M: Elmer Bernstein / S: Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughn, James Coburn, Brad Dexter, Horst Bucholz, Eli Wallach

Vintage Tuneage :: Mental Floss :: Quill's Awesome Mix Volume 2: The Conjecturing

Chock full of cosmic whiz-bangery, stunning world-building, and all kinds of nods to Marvel's galactic frontier, James Gunn's Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) was often hilarious, with strong characters -- and even stronger characterizations, and some out of the blue and totally unexpected emotional gravitas. Also, Kevin Bacon. Sort of. Anyhoo, one of the linchpins of the film was the memorial mixtape Meridith Quill made for her son, Peter.

That, of course, was Volume One. And though we do get to hear the first two tracks of Volume Two (Marvin Gaye and the Jackson 5), in desperate need of some mental floss this weekend, I took it upon myself to conjecture on what other tunes Meredith might've put on the tape, culled from a ton of AM Gold. Several hours later, I had nearly 30 probable tracks plucked-out of the Spotify ether and spent several more hours narrowing it down to ten to match the first one. (Remember, Track One is "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" and Track Two is "I Want You Back".) And with a little more tweaking, this is what I came up with:

Track Three:

Video courtesy of green7coralreef.

Track Four: 

 Video courtesy of indyduane.

Track Five:

Video courtesy of ScreamDream3000.

Track Six:

 

Video courtesy of heartbraeker.

Track Seven:
x

 

 Video courtesy of Inevitable.

Track Eight:

Video courtesy of FuschiaAlligator.

Track Nine:

 

Video courtesy of PTVictor.

Track Ten:

 

Video courtesy of Don Stubbs.

Track Eleven:

 

Video courtesy of fab70smusic.

Track Twelve:

 

Video courtesy of TheOJaysVEVO.

Just an exercise in tuneage, Boils and Ghouls. Nothing more, and nothing less. And if you haven't seen Guardians yet, for Groot's sake, what are you waiting for?

Favorites :: Soundtracks :: Ennio Morricone and Bruno Nicolai's Amazing Awesomeness of Operation: Kid Brother (1967)

Operation: Kid Brother a/k/a O.K. Connery a/k/a Operation: Double 007 is producer Dario Sabatello and director Alberto De Martino's completely demented Italian James Bond knock-off about what happens when your top spy isn't available to save the world from a dastardly plot and your fall back plan is to recruit his younger brother. (Just roll with it, folks.) Made to help feed the world's spies and espionage-addled cinematic appetite, their end result is both great and goofy as all hell. The production landed Sean Connery's brother, Neil, for the lead (he's honestly not that terrible), and several other Bond mainstays, including Bernard Lee (M) and Lois Maxwell (Moneypenny, who kicks butt in this thing), and former Bond Girl Daniela Bianchi (From Russia with Love), and arch-villain Adolfo Celi (Thunderball) to round out the cast, who are all plugged into a plot that makes no sense, but you, like me, probably won't give a shit as this thing washes over you. And on top of all that, we get an inspired musical score co-conspired by the great Ennio Morricone and Bruno Nicolai, with a vocal assist by Maria Cristina Brancucci.

Video courtesy of Valdez244.

Yeah. Good luck getting that out of your head. Alas, the movie itself is not available on this side of the pond except on VHS, but the film was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000; an episode that is currently available in one of the boxsets.

Operation: Kid Brother (1967) Produzione D.S. :: United Artists / P: Dario Sabatello / D: Alberto De Martino / W: Paolo Levi, Frank Walker, Stanley Wright, Stefano Canzio / C: Giovanni Bergamini / E: Otello Colangeli / M: Ennio Morricone, Bruno Nicolai / S: Neil Connery, Daniela Bianchi, Adolfo Celi, Lois Maxwell, Bernard Lee

YouTube Finds :: Taking it Back.

This movie ... Quentin Tarantino kinda missed the point when he stole this movie and co-opted it for his teeth-grinding, MAXIM-ized piece of stoopidity. Today, with the help of deightweetabix, I'm stealing it back:

Video courtesy of deightweetabix's channel.

I believe in Kowalski's God. I feel secure and humbled knowing that after all his trials and tribulations, tempered by the desert heat, shunning prophets and false prophets alike, Kowalski died for all our sins, and that he is still out there, somewhere, foot on the floor, going hellbent toward another, endless horizon. So, when next you face a moral dilemma or a crisis of conscience, just ask yourself: What Would Kowalski Do?

Video courtesy of natumelow's Channel.

YouTube Finds :: Flash, Filmation & Freddie for Your Humpday Funk Decimator!

Video courtesy of assurbanipalsegundo.

Favorites :: Vintage Tuneage :: But How Do They Know Where We're Going?

Mike Bockoven and I preparing to embark for Pittsburgh.
9/7/11.
(Artist interpretation.)

Video courtesy of SJ363's Channel.

The Silicon Teens:
Darryl, Jacki, Diane and Paul.
(But not really.)

Vintage Tuneage :: Impromptu Karaoke at the Super 8.

Finally caught a matinee of SUPER 8 yesterday. Fantastic flick and a lot of fun. As others have stated before, and I'll concur, it most definitely is J.J. Abrams' giant love letter to Steven Spielberg (-- Spielberg of the 1970's, we must sadly quantify), that is almost pitch perfect; perhaps too pitch-perfect in spots, but now I'm just picking nits as the pros easily outweigh the cons, here. Anyways, the main reason for this post is for what happened after the film ended, when the Easter Egg wrapped up, and the final credits rolled proper, where I, high as a kite on what I had just witnessed, and a gal I've never met before, similarly addled, held an impromptu karaoke duet in the emptying theater, breaking off a piece of The Knack; a tune that epitomizes Abrams' uncanny efforts to capture that weird transition period between the 1970's and the 1980's, where, for once, reality did not bite.

Video courtesy of izida9.

The Knack:
Prescott Niles (Bass), Bruce Gary (Drums),
Doug Fieger (Singer, Guitarist), Berton Averre (Lead Guitarist)

Trailer Park :: ROCK-N-ROLL! : Tetsuro Takeuchi's Whole Six-Pack of Awesome Better Known as Wild Zero (2000)

OK ... Try to get your head around this: Our hero, Ace, a pompadour sporting, moped-riding rockabilly groupie is on his way to see a concert. But this venture is rudely interrupted when aliens decide to invade the Earth. The sky is full of saucers, the dead are rising and begin their usual feast on human flesh, and humanity's only hope for survival is Ace's favorite band and the power of Rock-n-Roll...

2004 was a very good year for the living dead -- as opposed to 2003, which saw Herr Uwe Boll's gawd-awful, true, but hilariously inept House of the Dead. A genre that had been relegated to low-budget, direct to video fiascoes like Children of the Living Dead and Zombie '90 Extreme Pestilence went through a renaissance in quality, quantity, and even returned to the big screen.


Zack Snyder's questionable remake of George Romero's Dawn of the Dead proved to be not as bad as the original film's fans and zombie purists had feared. In fact, I think it was pretty darn good, and, go ahead and call me blasphemous but I found to be more enjoyable than the original version. Well, it was -- until it turned into a pedestrian episode of the A-Team for the third act; and what the holy-heck was that ending credit sequence all about, when it switched from Romero to Italian zombie master Lucio Fulci mode? But! At least there wasn't a pie-fight ... Then, from our friends in Great Britain came Shaun of the Dead, a brilliant film that worked on so many levels; it sacred you, and made you cry and laugh uncontrollably, usually at the same time. Heck, 2004 was such a good year for the not quite dead that Romero himself finally got the long promised fourth entry of his own franchise, Land of the Dead, into production.


2004 also saw the domestic DVD release of Japan's very own demented entry into the zombie oeuvre, Tetsuro Takeuchi's Wild Zero (2000). (Which meant I could finally throw away my shitty VHS bootleg.) This movie -- well, this movie defies all rational explanations. A volatile brew, it's kind of like Dawn of the Dead mixed with Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space with a Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Fun Park chaser. Its got a Dead Alive mentality and an Evil Dead ferocity, with a paint-blistering soundtrack inspired by The Ramones, Gene Vincent and Link Wray.

Guitar Wolf :: Drum Wolf, Guitar Wolf, Bass Wolf

And the film really is a showcase for Guitar Wolf, a real life Japanese punk/thrash-a-billy band, whose music is so over-modulated and distorted that you honestly fear for your stereo speaker's life. Again, have a listen:

Seriously. Double check your warranties before viewing. Armed with a lot of self-confidence, anti-matter guitar picks, and guns loaded with skull detonating bullets, our merry band must survive the UFO invaders, the munching zombie hordes (-- but they're not sure how because none of them have actually seen Night of the Living Dead), a cat-suit-cladded, gun-running femme fatale mercenary, and a psychotic promoter with a thing for Dutch boy wigs and terminally short pants -- who can shot lasers out of his eyes! You just can't make this shit up, folks...


Anyways, any movie that has its own built in drinking game gets bonus points from me (and the Synapse DVD even provides a pop-up beer mug to help you along.) All you have to do is drink whenever someone drinks; someone combs their hair; anytime fire shoots out of anything; anyone says "rock-n-roll!"; something explodes; or a zombie's head "pops." And if you follow the rules, you'll be snockered by the end of the first reel. Trust me.


E'yup, Wild Zero is as insane as it sounds, but I'll curb your enthusiasm a little by warning you all that the film is completely, wonderfully, and unapologetically stoopid. (Even the film's director says it was meant to be unapologetically stoopid.) The sheer rawness of it works to the film's benefit but the pacing is maddeningly bi-polar, with spurts of action that just as quickly screeches to a halt, and honestly, when the film is in high gear, the dialogue is moving so fast it's impossible to keep up with the subtitles. Some things are definitely lost in translation. They have to be. There's no other possible explanation. Meaning the majority of the time you won't know what the heck is going on.


But, eh, I wouldn't even try make sense of it. For this movie is not meant to be seen, but endured! It's an assault on the senses, twisted and distorted, and wops you upside the head. And when it's over, after the dust settles and your ears stop ringing, you may not have a clue as to what you just encountered -- hell, you may not even like it -- but there's an uncontrollable urge to que it up and watch it again. Rock 'n' roll!

Wild Zero (1999) Dragon Pictures :: GAGA :: Takeuchi Entertainment / EP: Kazuhiko Tanaka / P: Kaichiro Furata, Katsuaki Takemoto / D: Tetsuro Takeuchi / W: Satoshi Takagi, Tetsuro Takeuchi / C: Motoki Kobayashi / E: Tomoe Kubota / M: Guitar Wolf / S: Guitar Wolf, Drum Wolf, Bass Wolf, Masashi Endô, Kwancharu Shitichai, Haruka Nakajo

Favorites :: Soundtracks : John Williams "The March from 1941."

"I Don't think you're gonna hit him, Ward."
(Gets me every, damn, time.)

Moments of Pure Cinema Fusion :: Leone's Masterpiece: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly (1967)

By definition, nuclear fusion is the process by which multiple like-charged atomic particles join together to form a heavier nucleus -- usually accompanied by the release of a massive amount of energy, depending on the elements involved. Applying that theory to film, there are certain moments in certain movies when the direction, cinematography, acting, editing, and soundtrack collide and merge into something I like to call Moments of Pure Cinema Fusion.


Here's probably the best example of this theory in use: The final, three-way duel in Sergio Leone's The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Honestly, there are a ton of scenes from this film that would qualify, and I wish there was a clip that started when Tuco is first blown into Sand Hill Cemetery and finished with the closing credits. Alas, this is as close as I could get.

Up first ... Tuco is overcome by the ecstasy of gold.

Which ultimately leads to the final duel.

Honestly ... I'd argue with anyone that, when you add up all the elements, that entire sequence is the greatest twenty-five minutes (give or take) of cinema ever committed to film.

Credit where credit is due:

Director: Sergio Leone / Screenplay: Leone, Luciano Vincenzoni, Furio Scarpelli, Angenore Incrocci / Cinematography: Tonino Delli Colli / Editing: Eugenio Alabiso, Nino Baragli / Original Music: Ennio Morricone / Cast: Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, Lee Van Cleef.

Moments of Pure Cinema Fusion :: The Attack on Ajax's Ship : Flash Gordon (1980)

By definition, nuclear fusion is the process by which multiple like-charged atomic particles join together to form a heavier nucleus -- usually accompanied by the release of a massive amount of energy, depending on the elements involved. Applying that theory to film, there are certain moments in certain movies when the direction, cinematography, acting, editing, and soundtrack collide and merge into something I like to call Moments of Pure Cinema Fusion.


As an example, here's one of my favorites occurrences of this phenomenon. The action really starts to percolate around the 1:08 mark, and then reaches critical mass at about 2:20:

"DIIIIIIIIIVVVVEEE!"

Credit where credit is due:

Director: Mike Hodges / Screenplay: Lorenzo Semple Jr. / Cinematography: Gil Taylor / Editing: Malcolm Cooke / Original Music: Brian May, Queen / Cast: Sam Jones, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Max Von Sydow, Timothy Dalton